So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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