I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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