chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
