I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
