And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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