she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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