They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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