My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
