I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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