You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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