You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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