its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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