Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
