I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
