Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
