Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
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