Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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