ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I am naked and annoyed.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
