I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
