I wish I could teleport
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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