Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize