Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
