I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
