there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
