he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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