clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
