i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize
