And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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