i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
