he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
