so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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