I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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