All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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