If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I looked at my own cervix.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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