nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
her vagine was all disorganized.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
