U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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