i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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