omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
