I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
