She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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