mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
