Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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