I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
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