After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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