I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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