take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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