Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
