on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
