Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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