i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
