There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
