Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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