operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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