I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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