I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Randomize
